Been a while...

It's been a while since I updated my blog, and truthfully, I just haven't felt like it. I'm not exactly full of the joys of spring at the moment (spring? Hah! It's already *way* too hot to be spring, and I think we've gone straight to summer) and would like to crawl into a nice deep hole for the forseeable future, thanks to some stuff that has been, and is, going on in my life recently.

Today though, I dragged myself out for the day with Peter, to Thorpe Park. It was grey, wet, and thoroughly miserable, and Peter is scared of rides that swing back and forth, are high, or spin, so that meant we were rather limited! We did get on a fair few rides though, and visited the farm as well, which was a nice break from the busy park. The baby goats and lambs were just adorable, and I loved the aviary of cockatiels and budgies, of course.

It was good to get out for the day, and I really did enjoy it, despite the miserable weather, limited rides, and the fact that we had a detour of a few miles when Peter took the wrong turning on the way there this morning!

La La Land

Let me set the scene by telling you that my friend Daniel is a huge wrestling fan. Why, I really don't know, but hey! In 2004 we went to Dublin for a short break, because there was a wrestling show he wanted to see, and last year we spent a week in Los Angeles as he wanted to go to Wrestlemania XXI. It was a fantastic holiday, and I desperately want to go back to Southern California.

Lately we've been thinking about a break in New York, ideally combined with wrestling for him, although he wants to go to Wrestlemania XXIII in Detroit next year. Last night he informed me that in February 2007 there is "No Way Out" at the Staples Center in LA, and in August 2007 there's "Summerslam" in New York.

This is great news ... we could easily do both, by saving for the LA trip now, and using our annual bonus in March 2007 for the New York trip! Thus I get to return to LA, we both get to go to NY, and Daniel gets to see two pretty big wrestling shows as well.

But ... there's a but. Isn't there always? He's really not convinced that my idea is better, because he wouldn't get to see WM in Detroit! But what *is* there in Detroit anyway?! I shall have to work on my powers of persuasion some more I think!

What's going on?

Something's going on and I don't know what yet. I think I've screwed up again, which is really the story of my life. Suffice to say I can't get hold of who I want to, and I'm completely miserable worrying over it. It probably is my fault though, it always is. No reason for anything to change now.

Love Actually ....

OK, I'm female, over-emotional at the best of times, and today I'm in a sappy mood. Deal with it :-)

On Saturday I went to visit my cousin James, and his partner Kim. James is a little more than two years older than me, and our fathers are brothers. Like my parents, his split up when he was small, though he has maintained contact with his father until fairly recently, whereas I have seen mine only when I can't get out of it for the past twenty years, and would cross the street to avoid him.

Anyway, James and I lost touch when I was about 7, when our Mum's stopped keeping in contact. When I was 17, we made contact again, and have pretty much been 'irregularly' in touch with each other since then, through some pretty tough events, like when my paternal nan died and James was the one left to tell me - the day *after* the funeral. And when his mum died suddenly at only 54. The normal crappy type of thing that happens, you know what I'm talking about.

Until a few weeks ago, I hadn't heard from James for three years, which was a record since we've been back in touch. I dropped a small hint by sending him a birthday card with every possible way to contact me in, and had an email a couple of days later! Who said hints don't work?! Turned out he and Kim had had two children since I last saw them, which was a bit of a shock to me! I had a few minutes of being distinctly hurt that even those events hadn't been cause to get in touch, but soon got over it - James is (annoyingly!) one of the few people I can't stay mad at!

I had some time off last week, and went over to visit them on Saturday. When I got there, there was James, Kim, Paddy (22months), Courtney (7 weeks), and three of Kim's older daughters, Melissa, Tasha and Nicola, as well as Melissa's friend Sophie, who arrived soon after me. In short, the place was pretty manic, especially compared to my flat, where there's only me and Mum for months at a time.

Melissa and Sophie went upstairs, Tasha and Nicola took Paddy down the town after an hour or so, and that left myself, James, Kim, and Courtney, who James had handed to me when I got there. She proceeded to snuggle down and sleep soundly for over two hours! It was lovely to just reconnect, chat, discuss our respective fathers, and come to the same conclusions that they're both losers! I loved meeting Paddy and Courtney, though who can resist a sleeping baby snuggled up on them? And I can't wait to get to know Kim more, as James has pretty good taste, and he adores her. Good enough for me!

James turned to me at one point, and said that it's mad in their house, to which I remember replying "Yeah, and you love every minute of it!". He's so happy now, with the big family he and I never really had, and in the space of three hours with them, I think some of my cynicism and bitterness wore off. I could literally *feel* the love in their home, and it was a wonderful feeling. We vowed to stay in touch, and I really think we'll stick to it this time. I think we both realise now that there are enough family members who we no longer have, or are in touch with, and that we need to make the most of the people we love. One thing's for sure ... a few hours with my favourite cousin and his family reminded me that love actually *is* all around ...

I...

I...
I wish:	I could keep those I love healthy and happy.
I love:	spending time with friends and select family
I want:	a life
I need:	to be more independent
I feel:	stifled
I see:	that going outside my comfort zone is good for me
I don't:	treat myself properly
I do:	neglect myself
I have:	no life
I miss:	my uncle, my grandad, and L
I cherish:	those I love, friends and family alike.
I hate:	Bigotry
I always:	put myself down
I hurt:	myself
I fear:	being like him
I laugh:	when D,D, or J make me
I cry:	daily
I adore:	doing nothing much, with the right people.
I sympathize:	with him.
I wonder:	about everything
I can't:	sing
I won't:	become like him
I made:	mistakes
I overcame:	bulimia
I:	am stronger than I give myself credit for
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Trip Report

Last Wednesday, 29th March 2006, I took myself off to Dublin for my first solo trip anywhere. I'd been there twice before with friends, and knew the main city sights, how to get from the airport to the city centre, where the hotel was etc, but I was more than a bit nervous about going abroad alone.

I had to be at Gatwick Airport for a 4:30am check-in, and my taxi was booked for 3:30am. The driver was actually a couple of minutes early, and came to the door to see if I had luggage, which I didn't. I travel as light as possible, and had only my Disneyland tote bag. I had been nervous about the taxi ride, as I always feel uncomfortable in taxis, but the driver was very chatty and friendly. I discovered that he knew Daniel, and we discussed my previous trips abroad, working for Waitrose, and how I'd previously worked for the taxi firm he drives for. Before I knew it it was 4am and I was in the airport. I headed to McDonalds for the traditional holiday breakfast of a Sausage and Egg McMuffin meal, but by 4:15 had eaten that and still had until 5am before I could check-in, or so I thought. I had started to check-in online the previous evening, and had had an error, so didn't think it had worked, but I suddenly noticed the self check-in kiosks were operational from 4am, so thought I'd see if I could complete the process there (thus not having to deal with a real live person!).

I found that all I had to do was insert my debit card, answer two questions about my baggage, and confirm my seat, then my boarding pass was printed and I was done. I still had until 5am before Travelex opened and I could collect my pre-ordered currency, so I went outside to kill some time and get some fresh air. There was a constant stream of people being dropped off by coaches, taxis and private cars, so I just people-watched for a while, then at 5am went and collected my euros. I'd thought I was being clever by ordering an odd 5euro for the airport bus to Dublin city centre, knowing the ticket machine takes a 5euro note, but Travelex gave me 5 one euro coins! Next was security, where I breezed through without being stopped for a pat-down search like last time, or having to take my shoes off. By 5:10am I was airside, and browsed a few shops like WHSmith, Boots etc, before positioning myself in a very comfy leather tub chair until my flight was ready to board at around 6.10am. Boarding was straightforward and we taxied out to the runway at 6:25, spot on time. It was a smooth flight, though I still felt pretty rough, and was glad to exit Dublin Airport at 8am, and hop straight on the Airlink bus to O'Connell Street, where I got off and headed straight for The Earl.

The Earl is a wonderful little bakery in Earl Street, with a cafe at the rear, and a fryup from there really hits the spot for the hungry traveller! It was 9am by now, and I had had my first breakfast in the middle of the night at 4am, so I was definitely ready for something substantial to sustain me through the first part of the day's travels. Toast and butter, sausage, bacon, egg, tomato, mushrooms, and a cup of tea to wash it down was the order of the day. By 9:15am I was on the move again, to Tara Street DART (Dublin Area Rapid Transit) station, where I purchased an all day 'Rambler' ticket, which allowed me to travel the DART system as much as liked for only €7. Bargain!

My first stop on the DART was Howth (rhymes with 'both'), which is a lovely little fishing village a few miles northeast of Dublin, at the top end of Dublin Bay. It's very peaceful, and not too touristy, though like myself, a few tourists have heard about it or been there exploring before, and loved it, so there are always a few sightseers around. There is one small gift shop, a few pubs, and a couple of very highly recommended fish restaurants, but mainly, village lifecentres around the harbour and fishing industry. There is a ruined abbey there, and a famous walk around Howth Head, which I wanted to explore, so I started out along Balscadden Road when I left the DART station, and headed past the harbour on my left. I soon spotted the abbey ruins high above me, and explored a couple of the steep side roads before I found the way into the abbey.

Originally founded by Dublin's Viking King Sitric in 1042, the abbey ruins that we see now date from around the 1500's. It is possible to get the key, to see the double tomb of Lord and Lady Howth, but I just spent a few minutes wandering around the grounds and admiring the views. It was so peaceful there, with nothing but the sound of birdsong, and I just enjoyed the solitude and beautiful views over the harbour below.It was the kind of morning I love, with a clear blue sky, sunshine, and warming up nicely by then ... I could easily have stayed there all day, but there was more of the village to explore. A few more photos, and I left the abbey, vowing to come back next time I'm there in decent weather.

I made my way down the side street that I had wandered up to find the abbey, intending to head back down to Balscadden Road and go towards the cliff walk, when I spotted a gate with a path leading off from it. It didn't look private, and as it headed uphill, I thought it might take me towards more great views ... I was right! It actually led to one of the Martello Towers.


This Martello Tower has now been turned into "Ye Olde Hurdy-Gurdy Museum" and is a museum to all thingse radio. Not my thing, but as it stands in the middle of a field on top of a cliff, and I was the only living soul around, I spent ten minutes or so walking the perimeter of the area and looking out over the harbour and the village again. One interesting thing I noticed was that I was now in a position to look down over the ruins of St. Mary's Abbey, and was able to get a differerent view of where I had just been from this position. I'm normally not at all comfortable in isolated places, but I really enjoyed being there with no-one else around, just soaking in the peace and quiet of such a beautiful place. I really think that if I ever came into money I would move to Howth ... and I never thought I'd ever even contemplate leaving here! But seriously, look at these views? Aren't they stunning?

























I really did head back down to the road along the seafront this time, and carried on up it to where I knew the cliff walk began. It's about 11km around the whole of Howth Head, and as I was neither wearing shoes for *that* much walking, or very trusting of the weather, I decided against attempting the whole walk, and just walked as far as I felt like. As I headed uphill along Balscadden Road, the houses became fewer, larger, and much more expensive, and I noticed
that everyone, without exception, smiled and spoke to me - from the lady in her back garden, to the man walking his spaniel, to the elderly man who stopped walking, took off his hat, and said what I *think* was "Good morning" ... he may well have been speaking Gaelic for all I knew, but I'm sure his intent was friendly! Here's the road I was walking along.

The views as I headed towards the start of the cliff walk were pretty similar to those I'd already seen, but from different viewpoints, and as I progressed, I could see bits of the coastline that had been hidden before. A lovely little cove which was actually a private beach for a couple of the houses, a huge rock formation with nesting seagulls on, and just gorgeous scenery in general. After I walked along here for about 15 minutes I turned back and retraced my steps, making my way to the bottom of the road and the gift shop, where I bought a few postcards. I crossed over the road so that I was on the harbour side, and walked along the East Pier as far as I could, right out to the lighthouses - one old, one new. It was incredibly windy and I had chosen to walk on the top level of the pier, so when I got to the end, and found a slope down to the lower level I took the chance of walking back to shore that way, and being sheltered by
the top level a little!

The views out to Ireland's Eye, a small,uninhabited island about 1km off the coast of Howth, were incredible. In the summer you can take a tourist boast over to the island, which is a haven for nesting sea birds like gulls, gannets, and puffins, as well as cormorants. There are often sightings of grey seals around the Howth coast, and in the harbour, though I wasn't lucky enough to spot one. I did see this little guy picking around in the pebbles though! I adore rooks, crows, magpies, the whole crow family, so I had to get a pic, as I'd never seen one on a beach before! I have noticed on all three of my trips to Ireland so far, that there seem to be an awful lot more of the whole corvidae family around than here in England. That suits me just fine, as I love them all! This one spent a good amount of time down on the shoreline, where the water met the pebbles, pecking and digging around, which I found unusual for a jackdaw, being that it was salt water.

There were a lot of other people walking along the pier, even though it didn't actually *go* anywhere! Like me though, they seemed to just be enjoying the sunshine, and the fresh sea air, and I got the impression that many of them were locals who probably do that walk most days. There were several elderly people walking alone, a young mum with her baby in a pram, and a middle-aged couple who overtook me, reached the lighthouses at the end ages before me, and passed me on their way back! Some pics from my blustery walk along the pier....


I was tiring somewhat by now, and started to head back towards the DART station, and Dublin. when I decided that I wouldn't get off at Tara Street, as I may as well make the most of my Rambler ticket. I stayed on the DART train to the very end of the line, at Greystones, and we passed through some spectacular coastal scenery, which I would love to see more of in the future. Unfortunately, my plans to get off at Greystones and explore the town a little were changed when I realised that I felt *really* low blood sugary, and shaky. I didn't know where anywhere was to get food in Greystones, so I decided the best thing was to get back on the train I'd left less than three minutes before, and go back to Dublin to eat, then 'do' Trinity College and the Book of Kells that afternoon. I'd eaten breakfast at 9am, and it was now after 2pm, but as I'd been up nearly 12 hours at this point I think my body was expecting an evening meal! Back to Tara Street, then I walked to McDonalds (there's a theme in these three days!) and had lunch, before heading back across to the Southside of the city, and down to College Green, where the main entrance to Trinity College is.


As you can see, by now (mid afternoon) the weather was not so good. Noticeably colder, with grey skies, I knew the rain was coming, and hurried to get a few photos of the lovely old Trinity College buildings. Despite the university being founded in 1592 by Queen Elizabeth I, the current buildings date from the 1700's and are beautiful. After an exterior shot of the main facade, I made my way through the main door and into the cobbled courtyards, then across to the Old Library, where the gift shop is, and where the Long Room and Treasury, which houses the Book of Kells are.

I paid my 8euro fee, and walked through into the Book of Kells exhibition, which starts with huge panels showing details from the manuscript, and a video presentation, as well as the history of the Book of Kells, and the other manuscripts that are largely unknown, such as the Books of Durrow and Armagh. Eventually I found myself in an even darker room, and there, under glass, was the Book of Kells. It's smaller than I imagined, but the craftsmanship that the monks put into it is nothing short of breathtaking, considering it was made in the 9th century, and they had only coloured minerals to get the colours from.

Leaving the Treasury, I made my way up the stairs to the Long Room, which houses thousands of the books in the Trinity library. It's 65m long, and although it was originally only one level, the roof had to be raised to accomodate a vaulted ceiling and second level of books. It's stunning ... though visitors can only really walk down the centre of the room, and no photographs may be taken, even non-flash. I went back to the gift shop, where I bought a suncatcher crystal and some postcards, and left the campus, making my way to Tesco for a few essentials.

I stocked up on things like Diet Coke, fruit and cereal bars, as well as something I could have for dinner in my room that evening, as I knew I was way too tired to consider going out of the hotel to eat, once I'd arrived there and checked in! As I left the Jervis centre, where Tesco is located, the heavens opened, and I had to make use of the umbrella I had taken with me. It took about 15 minutes to get to the hotel, and another 5 to check in. I was given room 144, which is a large and airy room, and was right next door to the one Maryke and Clare had last time we were there. With a double bed, and a single, there was plenty of room to spread out, and I basically crashed for a while before eating dinner and watching TV for the evening. I had a bath and was asleep by 10pm, and that ended Day 1 ...

Choose Between ...

Choose between...
Free movies for a year or free CDS for your life?:	CDs
School or work?:	Work
Christmas or birthday?:	Christmas
Peanut Butter M&MS,Regular M&Ms, or Peanut M&MS?:	Regular
Dozen Roses or 3 boxes of chochlate?:	Roses
Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts?:	Julia Roberts
Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise?:	Brad Pitt
Vanilla Pepsi or Vanilla coke?:	Neither
American Eagle or Abercromie and Fitch?:	Huh?
Driving or flying?:	Driving
Roller skating or ice skating?:	Ice Skating
Apples or oranges?:	Oranges
Paris, France or Florence, Italy?:	Florence
Punk'D or The Newlyweds?:	Newlyweds
Jay Leno or David Letterman?:	Don't know either of them, I'm British!
New York or LA?:	Loved LA, not visited NY yet so can't say! Ask me next year!
AOL messenger or MSN messenger?:	AOL Messenger
Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt or J.LO/Ben Affleck?:	Jennifer/Brad
Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger?:	Ralph Lauren
leaf raking or snow shoveling?:	Snow Shoveling
black pen or blue pen?:	Black
WalMart or Target?:	Target
picnic under the stars or horse carriage in the park?:	Horse and Carriage
chochlate chip cookies or peanut butter cookies?:	Choc chip
Kobe Bryant or Shaq?:	Shaq
basketball, baseball, or football?:	None
Hiliary Duff (Lizzie Mcguire) Or Lindsey Logan(Freaky Friday)?:	Hilary
French fries,curly fries, or tator tots?:	French fries
Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?:	Matt
Phoebe, Monica, or Rachel(off of FRIENDS)?:	Rachel
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