Another Survey

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Kirstie
Birthday:	25th December
Birthplace:	Brighton
Current Location:	Bed
Eye Colour:	Blue
Hair Colour:	Brown
Height:	5' 6"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Caucasian
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Black Flatties
Your Weakness:	Lack of confidence in myself.
Your Fears:	What other people think of me.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Spicy chicken, thin crust.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Lose 5 stone.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	LOL or Cool
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Am I working today?
Your Best Physical Feature:	None
Your Bedtime:	Late. Or early, whichever way you look at it.
Your Most Missed Memory:	Everything until I was 5-6.
Pepsi or Coke:	Diet Coke, no ice.
MacDonalds or Burger King:	McDonalds
Single or Group Dates:	I don't do dates.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Neither, but a chilled Kenco Cappio would do nicely
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Capuccino
Do you Smoke:	No
Do you Swear:	Yes
Do you Sing:	Only if nobody can hear me
Do you Shower Daily:	Bath
Have you Been in Love:	No
Do you want to get Married:	No.
Do you believe in yourself:	No.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Yes, don't ask about my flight home from LA last year!
Do you think you are Attractive:	No
Are you a Health Freak:	No, but trying to be a bit more health-conscious
Do you get along with your Parents:	My mum, yes. Don't see my father.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes, as long as I'm not out in them.
Do you play an Instrument:	A bit of keyboard
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Yes, just about - less than one glass of Baileys.
In the past month have you Smoked:	No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Only caffeine and prescribed meds.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No, I don't like them.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No, but I love it.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No, never gonna happen LOL
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	No.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	No
Ever been Drunk:	No
Ever been called a Tease:	No
Ever been Beaten up:	No, though I did get in a few fights at school.
Ever Shoplifted:	No
How do you want to Die:	In my sleep.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Happy with myself
What country would you most like to Visit:	Ireland.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Green or brown
Favourite Hair Color:	Dark.
Short or Long Hair:	Long.
Height:	Irrelevant.
Weight:	Don't care
Best Clothing Style:	Smart casual
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Caffeine and alcohol.
Number of CDs I own:	about 100 I guess.
Number of Piercings:	One on each ear
Number of Tattoos:	None
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	One.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Instant Flashback

Everybody's Changing (Keane)

When Daniel and I went to Dublin in May 2004, the song "Everybody's Changing" by Keane was a recent release, and it was playing *everywhere*. Walking past a pub or bar, or into almost any shop, would mean we heard it, and I wasn't happy. I didn't like the song, and I wanted to hear "my" music, the familiar songs that I already knew and liked.

Since we came home, so almost two years now, Keane's popularity has meant that I still hear the song all the time - probably at *least* once a day on my local radio station, and often in shops etc. The difference? I actually started listening to the lyrics and the arrangement at some point along the way, and it's really an amazing song. But more than that, it brings back so many good memories of those three days in Dublin, a city that I'm completely in love with. It was the first time I'd been abroad, first time I'd flown, first time I'd stayed in a hotel, and so many other things as well. I have an instant "Dublin 04" flashback whenever I hear the song now, so I decided to liven up my blog a little with the video. Which I'm about to watch. Again. :-) Just click the link above to visit the VideoCodeZone site and see the vid :)

Gym'll Fix It.

On Saturday I finally arranged my gym membership, having been planning to join a gym for years! I'm now a member of "The Body Workshop", which is just five minutes walk from my home, so no excuses about it being too far to walk! It's £27 for a monthly membership, which gives me unlimited gym and weights use, though at the moment I'm concentrating mainly on cardio, with some stretches and a couple of Pilates exercises. I'll add weight training eventually for toning, but I need to get a few stone off first!

Penny, the trainer who did my induction session went over the equipment with me, and showed me around the building. She asked whether I had any specific goals or aims, but never mentioned the word "weight" which I felt was very positive. I do want to lose weight obviously, but it isn't my *main* aim - that's getting fit and healthy, and building strength. She also checked whether I have any back, neck or knee injuries and that I'm healthy enough to exercise in the gym.

My initial plan is to warm up for five minutes with some stretches or by walking down to the gym, then do twenty minutes of cardio-vascular exercise, consisting of:

• 10 minutes on the treadmill, at 2.5mph and incline 3.
• 3-5 minutes on the elliptical trainer at Level 4 and 40+ rpm (revolutions per minute)
• 500 metres on the rowing machine

Then finish off with some stretches and toning exercises for my abdominal muscles and thighs. I think I can handle all that!

Today was my first real workout, and I went to the gym with Donna, a colleague from work. When we got there there was one other woman in the cardio room, who was on one of the treadmills, marching away as though she was training for the London Marathon! Hey, it's in April ... she probably was! I grabbed the other treadmill, and Donna went for the rowing machine. I got a bit ambitious, and cranked the speed up to 3mph, and the incline to 3, then moved the speed to 3.5mph, and did 15 minutes instead of the 10 I was aiming for!

Next was the rowing machine, which I find tough at the moment - 500 metres is manageable for me, though only just, and I really feel it in my legs and stomach muscles when I stand up again. Leaving the elliptical trainer for last was a really bad idea - I could barely stand, but after a couple of minutes break, watching Donna on the treadmill, I was able to do the 3 minutes I was aiming for - and add another 2 on as well.

By that point we were both pretty shattered, and on a real exercise high! We left in good spirits, both feeling good about having pushed ourselves further than we had been aiming for. I feel really positive about the gym now, though I'm sure i'll be suffering from muscle fatigue tomorrow! But hey - no pain, no gain .... though a loss would be better!

How Abnormal Are You?

You Are 56% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Six of one, half a dozen of the other

Stolen shamelessly from Viodyna's site, here's mine.

SIX THINGS IN YOUR ROOM:
1. Computer
2. Bird Cage with 2 cockatiels
3. Hoover
4. 5 litre water bottle I use as a change jar
5. Bed
6. Jar of horseradish sauce


SIX THINGS YOU SAY MOST :
1. Yeah, right.
2. Oh for £&*$’s sake!
3. How’s you?
4. Cowbag …. (to the cat!)
5. Exunctly.
6. Is it me, or is it hot in here?

SIX THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. Diet Coke
2. Friends/Family
3. Music
4. Money
5. Medications
6. Hope

SIX OTHER THINGS:

Do You/have you:
1. Believe in God? No
2. Had a dream come true? Yes
3. Read the newspaper? Yes
4. Play an instrument? Yes, keyboard.
5. Have a job? Unfortunately yes.
6. Attended church? No

Have you ever:
1. Gone skinny dipping? No
2. Had surgery? Yes
3. Swam in the dark? No
4. Been to a Bonfire? Yes
5. Ran away from home? No
6. Played strip poker? No

SIX THINGS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS:

Have you...
1. Cried? Yes
2. Sang? Yes
3. Been kissed? No
4. Felt stupid? No, which makes a change
5. Talked to an ex? No
6. Wanted someone? Yes. I always want Jon Bon Jovi, but no luck yet!

£100 later ...

I talked Mum into going to Eastbourne with me on the train today, as I needed to get a couple of tops for the gym, and wanted to visit the Lakeland Limited store as well. I knew I would be in heaven there - a kitchenware store that has a large crafts section as well - my kinda shop! I wasn't wrong, and soon filled a basket with lots of craft bargains, including some cardmaking bits, stickers, card blanks, printed card inserts, scrapbooking bits and pieces, and best of all, five of these lovely Christmas tree tealight holders - a real steal as they were reduced from £7.95 each to only 50p! Mum now has a lot of chocolate balls to eat - 5lb of them, to be precise, and I have something different to use at Christmas. What exactly I will fill them with, or do with them, I don't know yet, but I'll think of something!

We had McDonalds for lunch, and I made the decision to not even try and low-carb today, just to have what I wanted and not worry about it - just for today. Interestingly, I didn't enjoy it at all, and I'm actually looking forward to carrying on eating as I have been for a couple of weeks now. I know that if I weigh in tomorrow and have gained a pound or two it will only be water, and once I eat low carb for a couple of days again it will drop off. I'm certainly not going to feel guilty about going off-plan today, as however much I plan to make low-carbing a way of life for me, it's completely unrealistic to think that I will never eat chocolate again, or enjoy fast food! The key is just to make it infrequent, and get right back into eating healthy stuff again.

After lunch we headed back to the station, and mooched around a few more shops. I got some lovely Christmas gift boxes in Oxfam, at half price, and the Panduro craft catalogue I had been looking for in WHSmith, as well as the DVD of "The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King" which completes the trilogy fo me now. When we got back to Lewes I realised that I've managed to spend £110 today, with the stuff I mentioned earlier, our lunches, train fares, and some other bits and pieces I bought as well! I now have £399 in the bank to last five weeks until payday, and £120 of that is allocated for bills and joining the gym ... oops! Still, it was an enjoyable day, and I got a lot of things I either needed, or have wanted for ages! Off to find homes for everything and read the Panduro catalogue - thus adding more items to my wishlist!

40 Things You Didn't Know ... Maybe

Stolen shamelessly from a very good friend, who I believe came by it the same way! Here's some things you may or may not already know about me.

1. Initials: KSF

2. Middle Name: Suzanne

3. Left or Right Handed: Right

4. Famous people with the same birthday as you: Enrique Iglesias, Annie Lennox, Isaac Newton, Dido

5. Where was your first kiss? At school. He promised to marry me, then changed his mind the next day. We were five. LOL.

6. For or against same sex marriage? For, 200%.

7. Are you homophobic? Nope

8. Are you bisexual? Well, I wouldn’t rule out a relationship with someone just because they were female, so I suppose that’s a yes.

9. Do u believe in God? No

10. How many U.S states have you been to? One, California

11. Have you ever lived outside the U.K? No

12. Name something you like physically about yourself: I have good skin.

13. What's your moms first name? Theresa

14. What's your dad's name? Many, depending on how I feel. Normally MPU (Male Parental Unit) but the name on his birth certificate is Derek.

15. What is your dream car? A Smart Car, in hot pink or cerise.

16. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? Where wouldn’t I? At this moment though, Southern California.

17. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex sleep over? Yes.

18. Has anyone ten years (or over) older than you ever hit on you? No. Ewww.

19. Have you ever dated anyone older? Only by three years.

20. What are you listening to right now? Southern FM, my local radio station.

21. What is your current favourite song? James Blunt, Goodbye My Lover

22. What was the last movie you watched? Dead Poets Society, last night.

23. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Work, this morning.

24. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Yes, but not in anger.

25. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes. Smile. Personality.

26. What really turns you on? A nice smile, sparkle in the eyes, and long (well kept) hair – Think Jon Bon Jovi in the early 90’s.

27. Say something totally random about yourself: I once had a conversation with my Mum while I was asleep, and asked her to pass me the orange juice that was holding up the wall!

28. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes, I suppose so. A couple of inches more would be good though.

29. How tall are you? 5ft 6

30. Do you speak any other language other than English? No

31. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No

32. What's something that really annoys you? Not being a size 8.

33. Can you drive? No, it’s my aim for 2007.

34. Are you a single child? In practice yes, since my brother died at 18 hours old. Technically though, I’m one of four, as my father has two sons much older than me who I have never met.

35. What colour eyes do you have? Blue-grey

36. Have you ever been in love? I thought so at one point, but no.

37. Would you like to get married one day? No. I’d rather be dead. Seriously.

38. Would you like to have children? Yes, but I can’t.

39. Most important people in your life right now: My Mum, my Nan, my friends.

40. Most valuable & loved possession: My photos, and my pets. And yes, I know that was two things.

Confessions of a Coke Addict

Thought that might make you look! Attention grabber - moi?! I mean the drink, of course, specifically the diet variety. Since I changed from the fully loaded regular Coke, about 10 or more years ago now, I've been a Diet Coke freak ... or maybe just a freak, your call! Breakfast was always a swig of Diet Coke, I drank it throughout the day, at every work break, and with every meal at home, or when eating out, and bought a 2litre bottle each day, often supplemented with a 500ml bottle if I was out and about and got thirsty.

But ... since starting to eat more healthily last week, I'm also trying to drink at least 8 glasses of water each day. Which leaves less room for Diet Coke. I realised this morning that I'm just coming to the end of the 2 litre bottle that I bought *8 days* ago! Wow ... another junk addiction broken maybe. Don't get me wrong, I still love it, but moderation is the key, I'm finding. Less chemicals in my body have got to be good. Just to remind me of my beloved beverage though ... I found this image earlier, and loved it!

Spring Cleaning and 80's Music

Today was the first day that I actually did anything remotely productive since I've been on holiday! I spent a couple of hours this afternoon cleaning, tidying, and generally sprucing up my room a bit. Threw out two black binliners off rubbish, which sounds good, but it was mostly old catalogues that I seem to hoard, and the box from my laptop computer, and mp3 player, along with the polystyrene inserts. Still, the room looks a lot better, and the carpet is actually visible instead of being covered in a layer of bird seed. For such small birds, my two cockatiels certainly manage to throw it far enough!

I'm listening to my favourite show on my local radio station at the moment. The station is Southern FM and the show is "All About The 80's". It's on from 10pm - 1am on Friday and Saturday nights, and it's definitely my kind of music! I adore most 80's music, even though I was only 14 when they ended, so it's a nice way for me to chill out at the end of a Friday or Saturday. My friend has just sent me a text from the pub saying that Bryan Adams' "Summer Of 69" and Bon Jovi's "Livin' On A Prayer" have just been played consecutively, knowing they are my two favourite artists and two of my very favourite songs! Great stuff, and I may have to play them myself later! Gotta get my fix ... I'm seeing Bon Jovi live at Wembley Stadium in June, and although I know they'll probably concentrate on their recent stuff, It would be great if they played "Livin' On A Prayer"!

Weigh In Number 1

And I'm officially down only one pound, though the scale hovered between 197 and 198, and finally setled on the higher number! Argh! Oh well, that's a pound less than I weighed last week, and I shall keep on keeping on.

I have to remember that I'm not eating low-carb with the sole aim of losing weight, but also because it reduces my blood sugar and because I feel better when I eat this way, so even when I don't lose as much as I hope for, I'm still doing a good turn for myself.

I just realised that if I lose a pound a week, in a year's time I will have lost 52lbs, and will only have 13 to go! Wow ... a pound a week doesn't sound so low put like that!

Not Worth The Bother

This morning Mum and I went into town, so that she could drop her repeat prescription in to the doctor's surgery, and I could weigh in at Boots. I'm back up a pound, though the only weigh-ins I shall be counting are the 'official' ones on Saturdays, which means there's a chance I could lose it again by tomorrow! After that, we walked over to Tesco, where I bought the ingredients needed for the microwave chocolate cake I mentioned yesterday. On coming home and trying it, it's really not worth the bother, though I suppose it would satisfy bad chocolate or cake cravings in a pinch.

I forced a pint and a half of water down in one go, and not surprisingly, have only managed one glass since! I shall have to go and drink more before bed. Dinner was just now, and was a small bowl of Greek natural yogurt, strained for about 10 hours, to give a thicker consistency, then mixed with a teaspoon of Sugar Free Angel Delight, butterscotch flavour, and a teaspoon of granulated sweetener. It was OK, though not as yummy as the ladies on the low carb forum are saying, in my opinion! I couldn't be bothered to do a stirfry or defrost chicken at this point though, and I wasn't hungry earlier.

When we came home from shopping earlier, Mum and I decided to walk along the riverbank, rather than the road, and as we crossed the bridge over the river, we saw the coolest thing! I heard a peculiar noise, and looked up, and to my right, just in time to see a beautiful swan pass over our heads, flying straight along the river, honking away! After pausing to watch it, the conversation went something like this:-

Me: Wow, that's the first time I've ever seen that.
Mum: I saw one fly over the flats the other evening
Me: I've seen geese and ducks fly, but never a swan.
Mum: I've seen a dragonfly ....
Me: That's nothing, I've seen a horsefly ....

Maybe you had to be there!

Craving Buster, Perhaps?

OK, following on from my last post, I need to have something that I can whip up which will satisfy my cravings for something sweet/chocolatey/nice, but still be legal in terms of carb content. I just found this recipe posted on the low-carb message board I frequent, and plan to gather the ingredients and try it as soon as possible. I'm thinking it just might be what I've been looking for!


Three Minute Chocolate Cake

Ingredients:
1/4 cup almond flour (1 ounce)
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
3 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon granulated Splenda

2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 tablespoon water
1 egg


How to Prepare:

Mix the almond flour, cocoa, baking powder and Splenda in a 2-cup glass measuring cup. Stir in the butter, water, egg and extract. Mix well with a spoon or fork. Scrape batter down evenly with a rubber spatula. Pour into a microwaveable glass bowl and cover with plastic wrap, cutting a small slit in center to vent. Microwave on HIGH 1 minute 20 seconds. Cool slightly and serve warm topped with heavy whipping cream.

The carb count is 4.5 carbs for the whole thing, 2.25 per serving.
3 drops almond extract (optional) (could also use 3 drops of peppermint extract)

Barely Legal

Today hasn't been such a good day food wise. I haven't actually 'cheated', but I've eaten way more carbs than I should have, especially in the first few days of my new regime. I've had broccoli with lunch, and swede and brussels sprouts with dinner, all of which are acceptable on my plan, but which have carbs in, whereas I've been eating less than 10g of carbs a day for the past five days.

Mum and I successfully shopped in Tesco this morning, and I didn't buy anything I shouldn't, until Mum stopped at the kiosk to buy a scratchcard. I noticed a pile of low-carb chocolate orange meal replacement bars, reduced from £1.49 each to only 89p, and as I've been wanting chocolate today, I bought one. I sliced off a tiny bit when I got home to taste test, and it was nice, so later on I ended up cutting about half of it into dice, and putting squirty cream on, which was yummy, then of course I ate the rest of the bar this evening. I reckon I've had about 40g of carbs today, and though I'm still forcing the water down, I think if i weigh tomorrow I'll probably be up again, when I have my first "official" weigh-in on Saturday, and wanted to be down a couple more pounds in addition to the two I've already lost.

I shall hopefully have a better day tomorrow, being really strict with myself in readiness for Saturday's weigh-in. I may even do a one-day yogurt fast if I feel strong-willed in the morning. Whatever gets the pounds off!

In Dublin's Fair City ... Where I'm *Not*...

So I'm on holiday this week, and after visiting Dublin in 2004 with a friend, which was great, and made me completely fall in love with the city, then a second, more disastrous trip last year with a group of friends, I had plans to take myself off there this week for a few days.

Until I got underpaid by £316 two days before Christmas. I finally got that sorted out, and foolishly decided that the people who were saying the weather would be lousy at this time of year were probably right. I spent my spare cash on a new laptop, and decided to postpone my trip until the end of March, when I have a few days off again.

I've been checking the Dublin Webcam every day (multiple times!) and the weather has been great ... sunny, and dry. OK, so it would have been cold, but I like cold weather! I'm not sorry I bought the laptop, but I am really missing Dublin right now, and I hate the thought of waiting another two and a half months before I can go back!

Reasons Why I Want To Lose Weight

In the interests of keeping my motivation up, and my weight *down*, I've been thinking about the reasons why I want and need to lose weight. In no particular order then ...

• I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired.
• I already have a 40% increased risk of a stroke before I'm 40, I don't need to increase that likelihood by putting my body under even more strain.
• I want to be able to bound up the stairs at work like some of my colleagues do, instead of lumbering up them like I do now.
• To look better!
• So that I can walk into any High Street shop and know the clothes they sell will fit me, instead of having to go to Evans, or shop online.
• I don't want to be self-conscious in a swimsuit any more.
• The lower my weight, the less severe the symptoms of my PCOS should be.
• Because I hate always being the biggest person in the room.
• I'm going to my first ever live concert in June, to see Bon Jovi at Wembley Stadium. I want to look good in an official BJ T-shirt, not one of the tacky homemade ones with a transfer print on the front. And as the official ones only seem to come in sizes up to 16 ....
  
• I've never been thin, or even close to a normal weight. I want to know what it's like.
• If I ever decide to have children PCOS will make it hard enough that I will probably need IVF. I'm not sure they'd let me at my current weight, and I couldn't keep up with a toddler at my current fitness level.
• Revenge. On everyone who bullied, picked on, and generally made my life hell about my weight at school.
• I expect others to treat me with respect, I should treat myself the same way - mentally and physically.

I shall endeavour to add to this list as and when I think of more reasons.

The Keirsey Temperament Sorter says ...

Guardians, are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply--and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.

Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly--they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.

Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.

Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population.

The Four types of Guardians are:

Supervisors (ESTJ) | Protectors (ISFJ) | Inspectors (ISTJ) | Providers (ESFJ)

This is pretty much me to a T, and there's a more in-depth assessment here

Another day, another effort.

Well, it's day 3 today, and I was planning to stick with the low-carb, but start adding in more veggies today, after last night's disaster! I was sure that I must have cancelled out any good the past two days have done, but when I weighed in at Boots just now, I have managed to lose 2lbs!

I have new motivation now, because I know that this WOE (Way of Eating) works for me and my body. I probably *will* gain that 2lb back over the next day or two, but hopefully by the time I have my first "official" weigh in, at the 1 week point on Saturday, it will have come off again, maybe even with a pound or two more as well.



I'm going to spend today compiling a list of reasons why I want or need to lose weight, as well as working on my weightloss journal. I don't want to get too obsessed, but in some ways that's what works for me - throwing myself into something 200%! I'll keep you posted.

A Setback of Fairly Major Proportions

In the kitchen is an entire shelf of chocolate cakes and biscuits. Bought for Christmas, there are three boxes of Jaffa Cakes, a pack of Viscount mint biscuits, a pack of Blue Ribands, a pack of Tunnock's Caramel Wafers, a pack of Cadbury Mini Rolls, and several Jaffa Cake mini rolls. I thought I could resist them, seeing as i've been off chocolate for the most part for several months, but in the last ten minutes I've eaten three of the Jaffa Cake mini rolls, and two of the Tunnock's caramel wafers.

I feel awful. I didn't *enjoy* them at all, and even while I was shoving them in, I was thinking to myself that I didn't want them. Any good that I have done over the past two days is guaranteed to be undone by the morning, and I really don't think I can face starting the meat and eggs thing over again. I guess I'll be off in a minute to drink as much water as I can before bed, and figure out what to do with all the leftover junk in the kitchen. I'd like to throw it all out, but I keep thinking what a waste it would be. Yet if it sits on the shelf until the best before date and then gets thrown out, that wouldn't be any less of a waste!

And I was feeling all motivated, having just re-read Michelle McManus's book in the bath. *Sigh*

Day 2

Well, I didn't get my fried breakfast! I woke up at 11:30am when Mum came in to my room to see if I was "ever going to get up", and we went straight over to Tesco to shop. I had scrambled eggs and smoked salmon for lunch, and just had my fry up for dinner. 2 Black Farmer pork sausages, 3 rashers of bacon, 2 fried eggs, mushrooms and a tomato. Lovely! Still struggling with getting the water in though, I'm such a Diet Coke addict! Tomorrow is my last day of meat and eggs, and that means things will be easier from Tuesday, when I can add in more veggies, which I really miss. Starting with three days of meat and eggs is supposed to be a good way of kick starting the low-carb program, and making your body realise that it's not going to be getting all the junk that it's used to! I'll weigh in on Tuesday morning at Boots, or maybe tomorrow, and see how I'm doing.

End of Day One

It's midnight, and so endeth my first day back on low-carb. I think I've done pretty well, though I haven't gotten in as much water as I should have. I'll fit another couple of glasses in before bed though, which will help.

Looking forward to a proper cooked breakfast in the morning!

The Day So Far ...

Well, so far so good. It's early days yet, but I feel like this time around I can succeed, however slow. I went shopping this morning and stocked up with things like chicken breasts and legs, fish, smoked salmon scraps, eggs, minced beef, mushrooms, brussels sprouts, swede, etc, so I have no excuse not to eat according to plan for a good few days yet.

Lunch was three eggs, scrambled in butter, with a dollop (technical term, that!) of creme fraiche and a couple of ounces of smoked salmon scraps. Delish!

For dinner I mixed 250g minced beef with some garlic, onion, ginger and lemongrass, and an egg to bind it all together, then formed it into four beef burgers which I fried. I had a 1/2 ounce of brie and 1/2 ounce of garlic soft cheese as well to liven it up.

I still need to take my medication for today, as well as drink several more glasses of water, but I shall be awake for another six hours or so, so that shouldn't be a problem. Oh, and I just baked three chicken legs to eat cold when I get peckish, or for meals if I'm not in need of snacks.

Day One of getting healthy ...

and I started by going to Boots to weigh myself. I entered my height, my frame as "medium" - truthfully I don't know what my bone structure is, but going on my 7" wrist size I guess it must be at least medium! I thought I would be about 15st or maybe a few pounds over, and got the best surprise when I got the printout from the scale ...... drum roll please ...... Fully clothed, wearing shoes, Boots scales say I'm 14st 13lb !

You'll think I'm insane when I say this, but I'm disappointed in a way (nearly typed "weigh" there!). My first mini-goal was always going to be reaching 14st 13lb ... or 199lbs, so that I could say I had reached "One-derland". Now I'm starting there, so I guess my first mini goal is 14st. OK then, 13lbs to go before I reach it ...!

If Michelle Can Do It ...

Yesterday I finished work at 3:30pm, went to WHSmith and bought Michelle McManus's book. I came home, got straight into the bath, and stayed there for two hours while I read the entire book from cover to cover. Michelle writes in a way which I can relate to - funny, self-deprecating, and brutally honest. I feel inspired. I think I might even re-read it later tonight.

Michelle has done *exactly* what I want to do - over the course of a year she has gone from a size 26 - my current size - to a size 16 - my "I'd be ecstatic if I got to that size" size.

Can I do it? Well, I have Type 2 diabetes and PCOS to contend with, which Michelle didn't, but although they will make it ten times harder to lose weight than if I didn't have them, I know it's still possible. All the other times I've tried to diet have been for various reasons, but this time I can feel that I'm ready. I can do this. I *will* do this.

All psyched up and nowhere to go ...

So tomorrow was G-Day. G as in Gym. That's right folks, the day I was joining the local leisure centre on the unlimited gym and swim plan, with my friend Clare. I've been gearing up for this since before Christmas, bought my gymwear and trainers, mp3 player to fill with upbeat music to listen to, and resigned myself to eating as much junk today as humanly possible in light of my new found healthy eating plan which also starts tomorrow.

Until the text message.

The one which said that she can't afford to join the gym because her car needs fixing and she doesn't get paid until the end of the month.

Argh.

I'm annoyed. Not with Clare, these things happen to us all, and always at the worst possible time! But with myself, because despite the fact that I'm *30* and supposed to be a grown up, I will *not* join the gym alone! So I shall have to wait another three weeks. It won't kill me I know, but I'm worried I'll lose my motivation before then.

I shall still start the healthy eating part tomorrow, returning to low carb, which I know is the best way for me to eat. Wish me luck ....

Brighton in the rain ...

Today I went into Brighton with Daniel, and we met Maryke and Eszmey there. It was dull and grey, with that fine rain that gets you wetter than you realise. By the time we got there Maryke had already been there for a while, had just fed Eszmey and was hungry herself, as was I, so we made our way to KFC for lunch. Unhealthy, I know, and I actually wish I'd had the salad instead of the Variety meal ... way too stodgy for my tastes now.

I ended up buying a 12"x12" scrapbook album in WHSmith at £5.99 instead of £11.99, as well as a pack of five refill pages at £2.49 instead of £4.99, which was a bit of a bargain. I also picked up three packs of 6"X4" glossy photo paper in Poundland, as well as some headphones and a few blank DVDs. Lastly, when we got back to Lewes I got the first in the new "Movie Musicals" partwork series, which was "Westside Story" this fortnight. I shall probably subscribe to that each fortnight as I love musicals, and would like to build up the DVD collection.

I picked up a birthday card for Eszmey as it's her first birthday tomorrow - I can't *believe* she's one already! Where does the time go?

All in all a successful day out, and for under £35 as well. Though since i spent £475 last Saturday I think that's a very good thing!

You Are Italian Food

Comforting yet overwhelming. People love you, but sometimes you're just too much.

What Kind of Food Are You?

What is your rune stone for today
brought to you by Quizilla

Isa - STANDSTILL
That Which Impedes Ice

Prise WInter.
Gather snowdrops.
Listen for your name on the chill
wind and bless the seeds waiting
in the darkness for the call of
Spring.

Normal: Winter has come upon you. You seem to be frozen in ice and can not move. Positive accomplishment is unlikely now. A cold wind is reaching you over the ice flows of outmoded habits. Try to discover what it is that you are holding onto that prevents the spring from arriving. Shed the outdated, and the thaw will follow. It may be that you have no control over the conditions causing the winter. In this case remember that this is the way of Heaven and Earth; winter follows autumn, but spring will always follow winter. Watch for signs of spring.

This Rune has no inverted position.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Well, isn't that encouraging? Pretty accurate for the way I feel lately though. Definitely feeling a bit stifled and stagnant, and needing a new lease of life!

Happy New Year ...

So here it is, January 1st 2006, and I keep telling myself that *this* year will be different. Just like all the other years ... I always start the New Year off with so many goals and things I'm determined to do, and that determination is real, yet somehow it never quite works. I feel differently this year though - maybe it's the turning 30 a week ago that did it!

Aims for this year then:-

1) Take my medication every day, regardless of side effects.
2) Eat healthily, aiming for low carb as much as possible.
3) Get dressed and leave the flat every day, even when I don't have to.
4) Join the leisure centre and go to the gym or pool three times a week.
5) Update my blog every day.
6) Carry on with my new found saving.
7) Go to Dublin at least once.
8) Gte my eyes tested and contacts sorted out.

I'd like to learn to drive if finances allow, but I'm hoping there may be a trip to New York in there somewhere as well, so that may be a 2007 resolution! I think there's enough to be going on with there for now, don't you?