Diabetic Review

I had my annual diabetic review this morning, which went much better than I thought it would. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) in June 2004, and follow-up tests revealed that (as I had suspected for years) I was indeed diabetic as well. I was really enthusiastic and motivated about starting a new way of life, getting healthy, eating right to lower my glucose levels etc, but somewhere along the line I veered off course. Not so much "off course" as nowhere near the course at all . . .

I didn't do anything right last year really. I didn't get my flu jab, get the retinal scan photos of my eyes taken, go for the 3 month follow up after last year's review, follow any form of healthy eating, exercise, or take my meds. In short, I behaved pretty much as though I wasn't diabetic. And by some miracle, my test results are all pretty much OK, and I seem to have 'got away' with my year long fall from grace. Cholesterol is borderline high, but only by 0.1 points, and although my blood pressure is still high, it's lower than last year. And according to the scales at the doctor I've lost half a stone.

The GP changed my BP medication, and I start the new one on Sunday - it has to be on a day off, as apparently it can work *very* effectively in a short space of time, so I could end up dizzzy and on the floor an hour after taking it! That'd be fun .... LOL. I need to have more blood tests at the beginning of April, partly to determine whether having been almost back on track since the beginning of February is actually helping things by then, and also to check that the new BP med isn't doing anything funny to my kidneys. Dr. L also wants to double check that I don't have high levels of a hormone that is linked to Type 1 diabetes, and that I am in fact, type 2 as she automatically went for that, based on my symptoms and the fact that I also have PCOS.

Now it's down to me to get back to the gym, and do a nice big healthy shop tomorrow. Wish me luck ....

50 (ish!) Questions.

Stolen from Viodyna and Lins.


1. Sleep with or without clothes on? On, unless it's unbearably hot in summer, then they come off in my sleep!
2. Prefer black or blue pens? Black.
3. Dress up on Halloween? No, not into Halloween
4. Like to travel? Love it, would like to do much more of it.
5. Like someone? Yes
6. Do they know? No.
7. Who sleeps with you every night? Simba, my cat.
8. Think you're attractive? No.
9. Want to get married? No.
10. To? Oh OK then, I'd make an exception for Jon Bon Jovi.
11. Are you a good student? No, I lack motivation.
12. Are you currently happy? No, I don't do happy.
13. Have you ever cheated? No, I'm a lifelong singleton, never been anyone to cheat on, not that I would anyway.
14. Birthplace? Brighton, East Sussex.
15. Christmas or Halloween? Christmas
16. Coloured or black-and-white photo? Either, or both, depends on the photo.
17. Do long distance relationships work? They can do, as much as any relationship can ever work.
18. Do you believe in astrology? Yes.
19. Do you believe in love at first sight? Lust at first sight, but not love.
20. Do you think you are the life of the party? No, I hide as best as I can and leave at the earliest opportunity.
21. Do you drink? Rarely.
24. Do you think dreams eventually come true? For some people.
25. Favourite fictional character? Winnie The Pooh.
26. Go to the movies or rent? Occasionally go, never rent.
27. Have you ever moved? 7 or 8 times before I was five, not in the past 25 years.
29. How's the weather right now? Freezing cold.
30. Last person you talked to on the phone? My mum.
31. Last time you showered? September 1st, in Dublin. We don't have a shower, but I had a bath late last night.
33. Loud or Soft Music? Loud. Can be gentle music, but still gets played loud.
34. Mcdonalds or burger king? Preferably KFC, but McDonalds if I can't get that.
35. Night or day? Night.
36. Number of Pillows? Three or four.
37. Piano or guitar? Piano
38. Future job? Lotto winner, with luck.
39. Current job? Retail slave.
41. Current longing? Lose weight, get a life.
42. Current disappointment? Life in general.
43. Current annoyance? Why am I not in Dublin?
44. Last thing you ate? Fruit bar.
45. Last thing you bought? Groceries at Waitrose.
46. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? New York in September.
47. What are you hearing right now? 11am news on Southern FM..
48. Plans for this weekend? Working Saturday, off Sunday.
49. What did you do today? Got up at 8am, saw the nurse and GP for my diabetic review, shopped at Waitrose, took the recycling to the bins, came home, changed into pyjamas, got in bed with laptop and cat.
50. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song: "I wish that I could be in some other time and place, with someone elses soul, someone elses face"

What Sort Of Girl Am I?

I am a hybrid of: Girl Next Door Progressive Girl Click on the pictures below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

Apathy

I feel like I've been slacking off recently. Not just in being lazy to update my blog, but with correspondence, housework, my training workbook at work, going to the gym, maintaining my friendships, etc. I basically haven't done anything but go to work, do as little as I can get away with, come home, and get in bed, accompanied by the cat and the laptop, to spend the rest of the day online. I haven't been to the gym for nearly a fortnight, have been eating dinner at midnight, and half the time not even taking any of my medications, so goodness only knows what the blood tests for my annual diabetic review will reveal at my appointments with the GP and the nurse next week. I feel as though I've got a lot of catching up to do in almost everything I do.

I feel somewhat ... OK, totally ... out of control of my life. I'm bored with it, but I don't have the motivation or energy to do anything that might change anything ... and I don't like change anyway. I've always been one who doesn't bother trying in case I fail, and am quite happy to just plod on with the same old routine day in, day out. I wasn't bothered about turning 30 a few weeks back, because I just had this vague idea that this was going to be my year, that somehow I'd be able to lose weight, get healthy, make more friends, see more of the old ones, travel, save money, in short do all the things I long to do. After all, 30 is 'grown up', right?

Well, none of that is going to happen uness *I* make it happen. And I really can't be arsed. Wake me up in another 40 years, but if I'm a blind diabetic amputee in a wheelchair, waiting for a kidney transplant throughh not taking my meds and controlling my glucose, please don't bother.

Oh, the irony ...

I'm in music mode at the moment, going through all the mp3 files on my computer, organising them alphabetically, listening to them as I go. I *knew* I had one of my favourite tracks, but have just spent ten minutes searching through my computer for it .... the song in question? What else but U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" ....!

Stop me, I'm shaking!

I just ordered an iPod! I bought a Goodmans 2gb mp3 player a couple of months ago, which has died completely, so I'm returning it. I should have just shelled out for an iPod at the time, but I didn't have Windows XP until New Years Eve, when I bought my laptop.

So, I'm paying £389 for a 60gb iPod, which plays mp3s, stores photos, plays videos, and hopefully does the housework as well, as it's only £10 less than this *computer* cost me! I could have got it cheaper, but I'm spreading the cost on my catalogue. I've also had the sense to buy the extended guarantee at £79.99 which adds another 3 years onto the manufacturer's standard 1 year warranty. I'm excited, and a little nervous, at having comitted to almost another £50 a month to pay out. But when I think about it, it's not even my wages from *one* Sunday shift, yet I do at least 3 of those a month. And it'll be paid off by Christmas, which is a nice thought!

It will mean that when I go away I can take my entire music collection without having to take my personal CD player and CDs, and I can take some TV shows and video clips to watch as well, but the biggest convenience for me will be that each day I will be able to clear my camera's memory cards by moving the photos form that day onto the iPod, and thus be able to take more, and better quality, photos! Yay!

It should arrive on Wednesday, so I'll update then!

Hair today ...

... gone tonight! As I do every few years, I decided to have my hair chopped off this evening. I made the decision when I finished work at 2:30pm, went straight to Superdrug to buy new hairdressing scissors, and Mum did it for me an hour or so ago. It was an inch above my waist, and it's now about an inch below my shoulders, so I had a good 10" cut off. It's still long enough to pin up, or put in a ponytail, which is good, but short enough that it looks very different when it's loose.

Now to decide what I want to do colour wise, though that will have to wait two weeks until I get paid. I'd really like to have some chunky highlights in various caramel, honey, and reddish tones put in, but that would require a) money and b) going to the hairdresser, which I don't do! I suspect I may end up colouring it at home, though possible not the usual red, but maybe a dark espresso colour this time. Watch this space :)

This One's Accurate Too ....

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. Your friends tend to be a as quirky as you are - which is saying a lot! You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

The Boy/Girl Test

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Colour Quiz

I just took the ColorQuiz test, and it was rather too accurate for my liking! Here's what it said about me....

Your Existing Situation
Working to improve her image in the eyes of others so as to obtain their compliance and agreement with her needs and wishes.

Your Stress Sources
Feels she must have cooperation before the existing situation can be improved. Lack of understanding and appreciation makes her feel no real bond exists, and discontent gives rise to a touchy sensitivity; she wants to feel safer and more at ease. She would like to get away from what she now considers a depressing tie and re-establish her own individuality. Her sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for her to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and merge with another. This disturbs her as she regards such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome--he feels that she can only assert her own individuality by continued self-restraint, that this alone will allow her to stand her ground through her present difficulties.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation.

Your Desired Objective
Her need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes her restless and she is driven by her desires and hopes. May try to spread her activities over too wide a field.

Your Actual Problem
Anxiety and restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced stress. She feels misunderstood, disoriented, and unsettled. This drives her into a search for new conditions or relationships, in the hope that these might offer greater contentment and peace of mind.

Your Actual Problem #2
Feels insufficiently valued in her existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which she will have greater opportunity of demonstrating her worth.

What Bon Jovi Song Are You?

You're TWO STORY TOWN.
You're bored with your life. You want something to

change, and you want it to change NOW. Keep

looking, maybe something'll come your way.


What Bon Jovi Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is completely me. I'm totally bored with my life, or lack thereof, and just keep thinking there has to be something more! Spookily accurate, in fact.

Cry Me A River

That's what I feel I've been doing over the past few days. I don't know what's wrong with me, there hasn't been anything I'm especially sad about, but except for when I'm at work, I've spent the last three days holed up in my room in tears, for no apparent reason. I just feel completely sad and totally over-emotional for some reason. And no, it's not PMT! Although the situation *is* P-ing Me off Totally. ;)

Ten Things

Inspired by a post I read on a message board this morning, ten things about me. I'm not in a good mood, so be warned!

1. I finally joined a gym last month and for the first time in my life am *enjoying* exercise.
2. I adore Formula 1 racing and have a signed photo of my racing hero, the late Ayrton Senna. I saw the race in which he died and still feel sick when I remember it.
   
3. I'm diabetic, and I'd rather be on insulin injections that take tablets. I hate swallowing pills yet needles are fine with me.
4. I've only ever hated one person.
5. I'm not scared of dying, but I'm terrified at the thought of any of my friends or family being ill or worse.
6. I hate all jewellery except earrings, but rarely remember to wear them.
7. I like the fact that I'm physically quite strong but hate the way my body looks.
8. I've been bulimic and self-harmed as well.
9. I want a Smart car, but have never learned to drive.
10. I have brothers who are 20 years older than me, don't know I exist, and I don't plan to trace them.