House of sickness ...

My Nan arrives on Sunday for one of her 4 times yearly fortnight long visits. With impeccable timing, not only have I got a cold/cough/lurgy type thing, but Mum's got it as well. We both popped out for half an hour to shop this morning, but have done no washing up since yesterday, no cooking, no housework etc. The spare room, where Mum will have to set the chair bed up and sleep while Nan is here is still filled with bags of papers, bags, bottles, cans etc, that need to be taken to the recycling bins, but neither of us have the energy to do it. Hell, we're just about managing to sit up and cough occasionally, or drag ourselved to the toilet or kitchen for a drink. Mum's been asleep in bed all day, and I've been *in* bed all day, though I have managed to stay awake and just browse the net. Mum's actually worse than me, which as she has fibromyalgia, is to be expected. Shes really wheezy with her cough, and I can barely breathe deeply enough to cough, but when I do it wipes me out for about half an hour. The last time we were both ill was in September, also during Nan's visit. It won't be much fun for her this time, and I just hope neither of us manage to pass this on to her - at 87 and with heart problems, she certainly doesn't need it.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Good

• I got my camera yesterday!
  
• I'm off for twelve whole days now
• My HbA1C has gone down slightly.
• My HDL (good cholesterol) is nice and high.
  

Bad

• My weight, BP, and LDL (bad cholesterol) have all gone up.
• I woke up at 4am with the sore throat from hell. Now my throat is sore, swollen, and *TMI alert* it tastes foul when I swallow so I think there's a bit of infection there.
• I feel like crap, and I won't be getting out with my camera for a few days
• Can't go to Dublin despite having the time and the money, as the hotel is booked.
  

Ugly.

• Me at the moment! Dry flaky face, red shiny nose, hair needs washing, etc.
  

The verdict. Dublin will still be there in June, when I'm off again. The sore throat will eventually disappear after a few days. And hey, at least I'm not working *and* feeling ill!

Out of my depth ....

So, my bonus last week turned out to be around the £1700 mark, and after paying off the £600 remaining on my New York trip, and ordering a new bed, I finally gathered my courage, and went into Brighton after work today.

I went straight into Jessops, where I bought the Canon EOS 400d, with a 1gb Compact Flash card. 8 minutes, and £480 later, I was heading back to the bus stop to come home.

I've turned it on, and had a very brief play, and am *totally* out of my depth!

I'm loving the fact that I'm off for twelve days after tomorrow though, so hopefully the weather will be half decent and I can get out and practice, practice, practice! Although I know I won't get professional results instantly, I know that this camera will help build my skills, and get me one step closer to being able to earn money from my photos. I may start a separate photo blog when I've got a new computer, which I'm not sure I can afford now! Ah well, it was free money anyway ....

Oh, and when I came home, I got off the bus at Waitrose, spent £16.73 on shopping, including two scratchcards, and won £19. Profit .... that's what I like!

Time to get serious!

If I was motivated to be healthier and *try* and lose a bit of weight, I think the only think that would *actually* motivate me enough, would be the prospect of spending a day in a wetsuit, in public.

Which means that I'm *highly* motivated because it was leaked last night that Wrestlemania 24, in 2008, is going to be in Orlando, Florida!! Which *then* means, that I'll be doing a day at Discovery Cove, and swimming with dolphins, hence the wetsuit! Woohoo! What a way to start my day!

Now I'm debating whether to buy my camera though, as I shall need spending/flights/hotel etc for Florida, and should probably start saving now, as next year's bonus will be less than this year, and will be paid less than a week before we go, so I'll have had to pay the hotel and flights during the year. I'll contemplate that some more later, but for now I'm feeling all happy and bouncy!

St. Patrick's Day.

It's St. Patrick's Day, and just like last year I'm watching the proceedings on the Dublin webcam here. I want to go to Dublin for St. Patrick's Day *so* badly, but can never get holiday at the right time from work, or the hotel and flight prices are ridiculously high. So, for the second time in two years, it looks like I'll be going two weeks *after* the event, if I don't buy my camera. (Or possibly if I do!) And while it will be great to be there again, and have a few days of "just me" time, I still want to be there *now*!

In other news, my new biometric passport arrived yesterday, and I'm actually fairly happy with the photo. I also went to see Michael Bolton in concert at the Brighton Centre last night, which was fabulous, and deserves it's own blog post, which will be coming soon.

A normal Saturday off today. The weather's not brilliant, but at least it's dry, so I shouldn't get wet when I get dressed and go shopping in a minute. I'm meant to be going to the greyhound racing tonight with a ozen or so colleagues, but I'm not feeling brilliant, so I might give it a miss if I'm still feeling icky by mid-afternoon. The annoying thing is that I've already paid, though it was a special deal and only cost me £10.

Miscellany

I'm becoming a domestic goddess. You may laugh ... go on, really you may. But I saved the carcasses and bones from the two chickens I've roasted this week, and currently have a big pot of chicken stock simmering on the hob. When I get paid, I'm buying a mincer, so that I can mince my own meat and know what's in it. I'm also buying a burger press, a slow cooker, and a small chest freezer, as well as utility shelving for the spare room. I intend to start a pantry, and make the most of bargains when I see them. I'm also going to get into OAMC (Once A Month Cooking) and stock the freezer with ready cooked meals every month. I reckon I can substantially reduce my monthly shopping bill, eat better, and healthier, and still have it be convenient. Watch this space.

The money for my renewed passport has been debited from my bank account, so the pics I sent were obviously acceptable. Hope it comes soon!

Only 9 days until I get paid bonus and wages .... and I haven't got a day off for 5 more days after that, so my camera will have to wait a few extra days. Damnit.

I'm buying a tripod off Bob, a colleague from work. It's a good one, and he only wants £30 for it. Bargain - my first decent bit of kit :-)

Today was the sort of day where I wanted to slit my wrists from sheer boredom. And the absolute brainlessness of my colleagues, the customers, and the general population. Why do all the idiots live near me?

Bonus

Daniel just rang me to say that the Partnership Bonus this year had just been announced, and is 18%. That means that I'll get 18% of my gross earnings for the whole of last year, which will be £2506.

That's great, though it becomes somewhat less great when you take off a whopping 33% for tax, as the government considers bonus to be "unearned income". I reckon I've earned every penny! I'll lose over £800 in tax, but will still take home about £1679 of my bonus - enough to pay Dom the remaining £600 on the New York holiday, put £500-600 away to start my spending money off, and either get my new digital SLR camera, or go to Dublin. Depending how much I get in my normal wages, I may be able to swing both, if I can get a good deal on Dublin, and *if* my passport is back with me on time.

So, today's been good so far. No stress, bonus announcement, no junk food etc. Now I have to actually get *out* of bed, and get ready for the usual day ahead. Sigh ...... at least people will hopefully be in good mood at work, having had bonus announced!

A Mixed Day ...

After Sunday evening, when I took my meds with dinner, and threw up three hours later, I'd hoped it was a one-off. No such luck though, as after taking my meds with dinner (a *lovely* roast chicken! What a waster!) exactly the same thing happened last night. My blood sugar was 25mm/ol just before I ate dinner last night, and is still around the 15 mark at the moment. I've felt sick and 'spacy' all day, but managed a banana and roll for lunch, and just chanced an Indian ready meal, which might not sound like a good choice, but was the only thing that vaguely appealed. I'm being very naughty this evening though, and *not* taking my meds. Partly to see if I'm sick again or not, and partly because I need to keep some food in my system longer than a few hours. Why do I get the feeling that I'll be moved to insulin after my review in 3 weeks? Not that that bothers me, I just want to know what's going on!

Better news now, from work, of all places! I discovered today that I'm owed a week's wages. When I went back to Safeway in 1996 I was paid weekly, a week in arrears, which stayed the same when we changed to Morrisons. It seems though, that when we were bought by Waitrose, that part of our contract was not transferred, so all old Morrison's staff who were riginally on a weekly paid contract are owed their first week's pay by Morrisons. Mine will only for 25 hours at £4.97 an hour, but when we finally get it it will be a nice little extra.

I also had my ARP at work today. That's my Annual Review of Performance, and is where I have a sit down meeting with my line manager. We have a new ine manager who has only been with us a few weeks, so our old one had already decided our pay grades, and is doing our reviews. She's lovely, and I'm really sad that she's leaving in a few weeks. Anyway ....
We're graded on our Competancies, which are basically behavioural, and on Key Result Areas, which are basic areas of knowledge, etc. There are 5 basic grades, from 0-4, with 0 being best and 4 worst. Typically, only 1-2% of partners across the whole company get a 0 or a 4, and the majority get a 3, which is fully acceptable. Then some more get a 2 - good, and a lucky few get a 1 - very good.

Jo went through the set-up with me, and asked me how I would grade myself, so I said a 3 - acceptable. She sid "Well, I've graded you as a 2 ... you look surprised". Stunned was more like it! I *know* my attitude hasn't been brilliant recently, and I was amazed that I got a 2, especially as Jo said that very few other people on the section have been graded as high! She said some really nice things, and it was nice to know that after weeks of stress, low morale, no staff etc, someone has noticed that I (and others) are actually doing the best we can. Jo said that she has discussed every checkout partner's grade with all the other section managers, as well as with the two deputy store managers and the store manager himself, and they all agreed I'm a 2. That really did cheer me up, because most of the other managers only ever speak to me to tell me to do something! I still don't know what my actual pay rate will be, or even *if* it will change, but I feel pretty positive about my performance at the moment.

Jo also asked me to consider doing more training, both in areas I'm not trained on yet, and with regard to training other staff. She's like me to do more till training, and also to consider becoming a section sponsor, which would mean I would become responsible for the training and mentoring of new staff. I'm not sure about that ... every one I train leaves in a short space of time! It was a positive meeting though, and I'm happy with my grade.

Great Music!!!

It's "Total request Lunchtime" on my local radio station, and someone (a 20-something guy!) just requested Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up! And they *have* it! It's playing right now, and I'm loving it! Way to cheer me up! I feel all bouncy now. :-)

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell ....

... as the Matchbox Twenty song goes.

I started back on all my meds on Thursday, and was completely and utterly spaced out at work on Friday, to the point that my manager told me not to take them again. Saturday was a day off, and I was OK, but yesterday I felt odd all day, then started feeling sick in the evening. About 10:30pm I felt like my blood sugar was low - sick, dizzy, disorientated etc, but when I checked it, it was over 23mm/ol! Yikes.

I then had a stressful couple of hours when my female cockatiel appeared to be eggbound, wouldn't drink or eat, and was sitting puffed up, panting. Eventually she ate some lettuce dipped in water, and seems fine this morning. I think she just wanted some attention :-) I was pretty scared for a while though! I ate a sugar-free jelly and within a minute or two was in the bathroom, throwing up. Ugh. I *hate* being sick.

I feel better today, though I'm not back on low-carb for today, as there's nothing that appeals to me that I'd be allowed to eat! I just had a stodgy jam doughnut, an dthat's helped settle my stomach a bit more. I'm glad I've had three days off though, as I should be feeling better tomorrow when I go back to work. I'm sure the reason I feel odd is because I've gone straight back on to all 4 meds, but it doesn't account for why my glucose level was *sky* high last night. I even washed my hands and retested on both hands, thinking I might have something sugary on my fingertip, but it had only come down a couple of points by then. Hmmm.

It's bright and sunny here today, but we've had showers and hail on and off this morning, so I'm not sure whether Mum and I will go for a walk we planned this afternoon. Not sure where we're going *if* we go, but hopefully somewhere where I can get the first spring pics for this year.

Lunar Eclipse

I spent half the evening out on the balcony tonight, watching the total eclipse of the moon. It was the first one I'd seen, and was really quite cool. I alternated between the camera and binoculars, and stopped taking pics when the eclipse became total. I toyed with the idea of watching the eclipse end, and the moon become it's usual white self again, but as it's not due to end until about 2:30am, I decided to upload my pics to the computer. I'm reasonably pleased with them, so here's a quick montage I threw together (warning: if you click the pic, it's a *big* file!)

This is heartbreaking ....

I read in the paper at work today, about a lion cub who was killed by one of the lionesses in the pride for 'insolence'. I don't know how long the story will be online, but it's here at the Daily Mail website. The last picture absolutely broke my heart .... :(

Picture 1 of 7:
It started out as an innocent afternoon's fun for this young male cub, playfully biting a lioness's neck.





Picture 2 of 7:
Then the cub gets cheeky. In an act of folly which turns to tragedy, he takes a swipe at one of the dominant males, while the pride's lionesses look on.



Picture 3 of 7:
Enraged, the lion king roars and the cub runs to the lionesses. But they themselves have become roused to fury




Picture 4 of 7:
Her blood up, one of the females even challenges the male, forgetting his size and his dominant position in the pride





Picture 5 of 7:
Now all the lions join in roaring and fighting, two males squaring up. The females are so angry they rush to the cub





Picture 6 of 7:
...and one of the lionesses kills the young male, while his siblings look on






Picture 7 of 7:
With what looks a howl of anguish, the female sits with the dead cub in front of her